Losing the Fire

The other day I came across a little video on social media of two guys siting outside, and the one turns to the other and says, "I just feel like I'm losing my fire, you know." To which the other guy nods sympathetically, and the first guys continues, "I used to have this raging inferno inside me for life. Like a bonfire of passion to embrace the world, chase my dreams, and get all that I could out of life, right?" And the first guy, still nodding says, "Yeah, yeah." And the first guy goes on, "And now, now it's like all I have is a tiny spark, buried deep inside, like a little candle guttering in the wind that I have to shelter from the wind of life. I have to stay inside, not go out or the wind will just snuff it out." And the clip cuts out with the second guy still nodding.

I identified with this on so many levels. I wanted to mention it in regards to gaming.

Let's face it, making it from this:

To this ... 

Is not a bridge too far, and many of us went from pre-teen to teenage/college gaming fairly reliably. But to make it onwards to this:

Or even this ...

Can be a much harder journey. Time, careers, relationships, stress, responsibilities and much, much more vie for time with your desire and will to sustain a gaming group. My journey here was easiest with my students first and my children next. But if those avenues evaporate as your children grow up and move on, you might find yourself struggling to hit that last phase ...

If you have managed to do that, seriously count your blessings, and accept my deepest admiration. 

And I'm not saying it is some impossibly difficult achievement. Though it may be harder for some than others, it is doable. I am my own worse enemy in this regard. The real challenge is to kindle the fire sufficiently to make it happen. Don't sneeze to hard, you might snuff my candle.

Classic is the Right Name After all?

So, as is often the case with me, I sail through the broken ruins of the gaming internet and occasionally come upon well preserved erudite commentaries. Standing like dwarven pillars guarding the gates of Scylla and Charybdis, they bring clarity in my efforts to slay the modern dragons of the gaming world. 

Such is a piece entitled "Six Cultures of Play", by Retired Adventurer. And actually the winds that directed me there were when I came across a video that sought to summarize the ideas expressed in the blog article.

Turns out, that what these gentlemen are describing as "Classic" is almost exactly on-point on for my preferred style of play. I have played traditional, but tend to play it more like it's classic than real traditional. I feel constrained in a classical mold and/or module. And once you drift to neo-trad or modern, I'm out of my element. This article also explains my discomfort with much of the OSR. I was one of those caught in the boulders that fell when us "revivalists" sought to resurrect 1e and got caught in the landslide that was the OSR. I considered myself OSR for awhile, as it seemed to be carrying the banner I wanted championed. But truthfully, I felt left behind by what they were doing as well. 

I also think that this dilemma explains my difficulty in finding a gaming group. So few who have not really played classically, understand what it is about. And really, one of the few ways to do it is to actually play the early expressions of that style. Early AD&D 1e and Basic/Expert. Bur even these can be played traditionally, and often were. And it seems like the whole world has at least shifted to traditional if not further down the cultural shift spectrum. Where does one find such a critter as me?

At any rate, I also agree with these creators that cultures are not exclusive to person or game. Nor is one better than another. Even I would be hesitant to champion myself as a pure classicist. But I am certainly at least 2/3rds if not closer to 90%. 

AD&D Appendix N: Poul Anderson "Three Hearts and Three Lions"

 

I didn't read this gem until much later in my Dungeons & Dragons life, but I was simply amazed at how clearly the book shaped Gary Gygax's formation of D&D. The book represents one of my favorite genres of fantasy called "gate fantasy". It features the hero Holger who is fighting in World War II and gets transported to the legendary world of medieval France. At first, of course, I just assumed it was an early example of gate fantasy, as the book was published in the early 60's. However, as I read on, I found that the mixture of legend, myth and inner longing to be so powerfully evocative of my own feelings about what AD&D did for me so many years ago, I understood Three Hearts as a seminal work of D&D inspiration. 

For early D&D players Three Heart and Three Lions reads like a textbook of inspiration. Herein we have a world caught in the grip of the struggle between Law and Chaos. Chaos includes the realms of faery as well and the struggle of it's better creatures such as elves and dwarves who lie between the realms of men and the other. The portrayal of the doughty dwarf Hugi, Holger's companion, is so much more accurate to my view of dwarves than the four feet wide musclebound cubes presented in modern fantasy games.

Race Comparison 1e PHB

Dwarf in 1e Monster Manual

Today's Dwarf

Also included in the tale are numerous monsters that would become iconic within the AD&D monster manual such as nixies and trolls. In fact I dare say I never used nixies in my games, nor was familiar with them. But here they are with a clear idea for their use. Magic swords, polymorphing maidens, and the like were all here on fantastic display. The tale reads as a strange and lovely mix of fantasy and fairy tale, much like my own initial experiences with the game as a youth. 

Moreover, we have in Three Hearts and Three Lions a world that is steeped in legend and myth. The Cycle of Charlemagne, the Wild Hunt, Morgan le Fay and the Arthurian Cycle permeate the book as principal sources of dynamic action and drama. Some might have been puzzled by the inclusion of the Arthurian Mythos in the Deities and Demigods and fewer still used them that I knew of. But I now understood that Gary saw them as ripe pickings for fantastic adventures that could be had within then D&D. 

As the plot plays out we find Holger intimately interwoven with the deeds of the past. His role revealed as an ancient hero of yore, and that his defeat of the forces of chaos mirroring his defeat of the forces of the Nazis. The tale kept me spellbound in this regard. And played out for me the desire to be a part of such adventures, just like Holger. Indeed it was my strongest dream as a young man growing up in central Texas, to do so. AD&D gave me that opportunity. Cause such cravings within me to return to just such a fantasy world, who like Holger longed to return himself. 

Anderson clearly wove potential messages in his fanciful tale that give us pause today. Holger's return to Catholicism as a flight of fancy or an identification with the beyond is but one. However, what it gave Gary Gygax was clearly much fruit with which to offer to the world a chance to play at Holger's game and become Ogier the Dane ourselves.