Friday, April 19, 2013

Forming Your Perfect Gaming Group

No matter who you might think the "perfect" gaming group consists of, and there are as many ideas as there are groups, there is often a pattern to forming one. This entry is more to myself than anyone else. And I want to give a shoutout to my brother, who went through heck, highwater and lots of unwashed gamers getting to his present pretty awesome group. He explained to me that it was not easy and it took time, even in the very populated and creative city of Austin, Texas. I would like here to share with myself, as much as remind myself that I must be willing to go the extra mile in reaching out and doing the hard and at times desperate work of finding that right chemistry of odd eccentricity, stumbling excellence, humor, seriousness and and fluid cooperation that marks an enjoyable gaming group.

The Knights of the Dinner Table: Close to my ideal Group
The first thing to do of course is to get out there. You may have an idea of what you want to play, style genre or system but you may have to be a bit flexible. For me, I've waded through 3.5, 4e, Pathfinder, and am becoming familiar with 5e; even though my preferred system has always been AD&D. For my brother it was 3.5, Pathfinder and now 4e. His current group, which is quite a good one is playing 4e, and though most admit they do not like it it is what they are currently playing. The point here is you may have to wade through some less than enjoyable sessions or campaigns due to a disliked system to form some gaming friendships.

So, how does this apply to my situation? Well, I currently am being pressured to only run Pathfinder. However, I have not been able to game much with the school club due to job pressures. I am now a building administrator and it is hard to find the time right after school to run a club meeting regularly. We do have a self motivated Pathfinder group going, but there are a number of others that are floating, waiting for me to start a game again. So, I have decided that I will be running an AD&D only group after school hours, once a week at the Hobby Shop or Public Library. These gamers who currently don't have a game are much more willing to game whatever I DM, simply to game so I can choose the system of my liking. If they had really wanted to game something else badly enough they could have started by now. They are, in short desperate. This does a couple of things. It gets me gaming with a group that might produce older gamers one day (as they grow up); and it gets it into the public arena out of school that there is an active old school game going.


The Black Hands Gaming Group: Rough and Tumble
My brother put up a flier at his FLGS and was pretty pointed in what he was looking for. Not one to suffer the unwashed and abusive masses easily, he made it clear he was looking for a certain sort of gamer when he was group forming. Of course he had to be a lot more lenient when he began getting inquiries. The first game they played iirc was Pathfinder. Then they moved to 4e. The group's configuration shifted, expanded and shrunk over the first while and, I believe, petered out once. But he continued on. This is the second pint I would bring up: advertising. I am going to be putting together some fliers for my local area and hope to run them by my blogging audience for input. I want to be open, but explicit. I once tried a Castles & Crusades flier, and though I got a few nibbles (some people took my number) no bite (no one called). So I have got to get the word out. Maybe even advertise my blog on my adverts so people can check me out and get to know me. And when all else fails, or it doesn't work--keep trying.
The Gaming Group from Unicorn City the Movie: The dysfunctional DM
(BTW, the hobby shop here is Hastur's Games about 3 hours from my stomping grounds!)
But the fact is, a group of school gamers, even though I'm planing on inviting a few older teens as well as my middle school gamers looking for a gaming home, isn't going to give me what I'm looking for. The fact is the people you may start with may not be there months down the road. I'm going to have to be a bit more extroverted in my attempts to reach out to gamers at the shop, at the local college and around town. Try and draw them into my game. I'm a bit worried about this stage, if I ever get there. Because I'm going to have teens in my regular group, and try and mix them with adults. That may not work. I don't know if I have the time to run two groups. Though if I get this far this is not a bad problem to have.

JoJo: DM of the Hard 8 Gaming Group when Gary's not around
The point with all this is perseverance and patience. Longsuffering helps too I suppose. What I want to really say is that the normal routes many of us try, Meetup.Com, Gamers Seeking Gamers, EnWorld, and numerous other good sites work well for those of us near major urban centers--but here locally. Squat. At least for me anyway. We've got to get out and beat the bushes. We have to be willing to get into games we may be uncomfortable with, game with people that make us a little nervous, and be what gamers are often not, social butterflies. It's a stretch I know, but when all else fails ... Unless you want to Skype game, which is still a very open possibility for me at this point if I can't get a table group together.


Patty: DM of Patty's Perps gaming group for reformed and reforming cons. Patty is an elementary teacher by profession
I once, in ruminating about this problem of mine, started researching how adults make friends. I really don't have all that many "friends". I mean I have people I get along with at work, people I talk to at church, people in my community that I know and will greet passing by, but friends--real friends very few. And none are gamers. But, come to think of it, may be they should be ... Anywho, adults simply have less friends than we did in school. That doesn't mean we had tons in school, but generally speaking it was so much easier for us to make friends then. Adults are preoccupied with the workaday world and all of its incumbent responsibilities. We are also much more inhibited than our younger clones. We are afraid of awkwardness, embarrassment, and the effort it takes to make friends. I confirmed this a little as I have watched my own kids meet, play and make friends with new kids. Without fail at McDonald's my youngest will run to the indoor playground find some young girl her size (age is unimportant, and truthfully size if that's not available), walk right up and say "Hi!" Sometimes she introduces herself, sometimes it's just "You wanna play?" If even that. Before we leave she's dragging her new found companion over to us saying "Mom! Dad! This is my new friend!" To which her friend often reciprocates. We do NOT do that as adults. Maybe we should.

The Table Titans Gaming Group meets the Dungeon Dogs Gaming Group
So, what it comes down to is me. I have to be willing to get out there and make it happen. I started the gaming club back in 2006 or so. I had had kids begging me to game for two years before I actually decided to do it. It was a big step for me on a number of counts. Now it's time to spread my wings once again. If, especially, with my new promotion, I plan to game at all not to mention game with my ideal group, I've got some work to do. 

2 comments:

Nils Nordstrand said...

Best of luck Chris. I know for myself, getting out there and being a social butterfly to find a group does not come easy!

JD said...

I need to find a good group or DM in Austin. Can you put me in touch? I've got pretty solid gamer cred I think...