Friday, February 27, 2009

Where has all the real D&D gone? Beware! *Rant*


Sigh. I'm getting nostalgic.

I miss Gary Gygax.

I miss the old modules: Tomb of Horrors, Keep on the Borderlands, Expedition To Barrier Peaks, and all those oldies but goodies.

I miss the black and white artwork, all the tables, and 3d6 for abilities.

I miss casting percentile dice and actually using a d12!

I miss feeling like the characters were real enough people in a real enough world that I could step into their shoes. Now I game in some sort of mutant-supers-fantasy-video-game-world wherein, not only am I not even sure I would even want to live there, but I would be squashed like a bug by the village drunk if I even visited.

I miss the special thrill I got when I used to pick up a new book or supplement. I recall sitting mesmerized by the Monster Manual after I got my first copy for Christmas when I was 12. Now I see a plastic-looking, slick-covered WoTC book and I just want to vomit.

I don’t know about you guys, but I never thought D&D was missing anything. What's with all this new crap anyway? I'm so sick of prepackaged, freeze dried, pre-processed, preservative laden gaming that I'm ready to puke. You poke games these days and they are so fluffy and cottony that they squish in like mush, slowly melt into a pile of quivering goo and dribble off the table and down into a puddle of useless muck around your boots--yuck.

Advanced D&D was solid, firm, robust and able to withstand about anything players could throw at it. It could not only handle a firm poke, you could swing a two handed sword at it and it came back spit polishing its armor and smiling. It lasted for 3 decades with very little revision. Now we've had 3 editions in 8 years from WoTC. I think they are making me puke 'cause they'll think I'll start hurling money instead of last night's dinner.

What's the deal? Am I just getting old? Are we condemned as we gray to glorify the halcyon periods of our youth when all seemed dreams and golden?

I suppose this is in part due to the fact that the RPG club is back up and going. I'm playing a Wizard in the "new" 4e Forgotten Realms campaign--though why they even call it that is beyond me. I was gonna play a Halfling thief, but old habits and all that. And I'm DMing the sequel to Shadowfell Keep: Thunderspire Labyrinth--4e all the way. Don’t get me wrong the storyline isn’t too bad, but the game sucks.

Like I said I am playing a wizard. I was so ready to die or run for my life for most of my first 3 or 4 levels. But no, I'm like a walking artillery battalion. It was too easy. It was in fact not much fun at all.

So, you say, if realism is what you're after try GURPS. I've tried GURPS, but can't get any takers and I still keep coming back to what I love, Advanced Dungeons and Dragons. Maybe I'll just say to all these 4e groupies--"You know what, I'm DMing AD&D, and if you don’t like it go puke on the glossy books."

Nostalgic and screaming about it,

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