I've been having an interesting conversation on the Knights and Knaves forum about some angst I've been having lately.
Suffice it to say my "little project" isn't going as well as I had planned. I got alot done over the weekend, but then I stalled. And the stall dealt with two main things.
1) What the hell am I doing?
2) Why the hell am I doing it?
Yeah, they're pretty big issues. I geuss to put it in a nutshell I'm wondering why I'm trying to cover the same ground covered better by those before me--Stuart Marshall et al. And as I tried to explain myself I waxed quite nostalgic about the old days, Gary Gygax, TSR and the like. I miss it and I want it back. So I stay old school, keep playing with my old books and continue to struggle with the feeling that I am a lone soldier waging a losing battle in trying to preserve a past doomed to fade away.
Can it be recaptured? If I want to play 1e I have to play with out of print books made by a defunct company, by a man who now rests in peace. Why do I feel like this is an unsatisfatory state of affairs? And more importantly, what do I do about it?
The Knights of the Dinner Table still have it, why can't I?
Thing is, as I read the last KODT issues I had the sneaking suspicion that they were changing slightly to market their new version o the game, not preserve the old flame. They feel their version does that--and I can't quite get on board with it.
I need to ruminate. Laterz--